“Well, that was the biggest pile of horse shit I’ve ever had dumped on me.”
Fitz held open the office door with his hip, shifting the giant pile of folders in his arms so they weren’t cutting quite so sharply into the crook of his elbow while Alex struggled through the door with his own pile.
“We knew someone was going to get stuck with Munter’s counseling duties while she was on sabbatical,” Alex sighed, trying to hoist the stack higher in his arms.
“Yeah, but why us?” Fitz exclaimed, letting the door close, the thud of it echoing down the empty hallway. “Do we seem caring and sensitive to you?”
“Not particularly,” Alex muttered as they shuffled down the hallway and Fitz scoffed.
“I made Josh Thurlbeck cry at football practice the other day,” Fitz exclaimed and Alex looked at him bewildered. “Not on purpose. But that’s what I’m saying! I don’t know how to talk to these kids.”
“It’s just the seniors and it’s only for this semester.”
“What does Munter need an entire semester’s sabbatical for anyway?” Fitz groused and Alex stopped in his tracks. Fitz paused as well looking back at him. “What?”
“Fitz, she lost everything she owned in a fire. Her dog died.”
Fitz rolled his eyes. “See! One of these kids is gonna end up jumping off Lambency Pier and it’s gonna be my fault.”
They paused as they reached the intersection of the two main hallways, Alex’s classroom straight ahead and Fitz’s office to the left and down some stairs in the gym basement.
“Hey, did you, know there’s some crazy dare going on with the senior girls? One of them is gonna try and kiss you at graduation.”
Alex nearly dropped his files. “What?”
“I heard Lizzie Grath talking about it in P.E. Thurlbeck is in charge of the betting pool.”
“Who’s saying they’re gonna do it?”
Fitz gave him a look and Alex rolled his eyes as they both said. “Sarno.”
“I’ll bring you a football helmet for the ceremony,” Fitz quipped, grinning. Alex shook his head adjusting his files. Fitz peered down at his pile again and sighed.
“Man, how am I gonna help these kids? I was a physical fitness major. I don’t even think that’s a major anymore.”
“You’re gonna do fine,” Alex said, lifting his leg to hoist his files higher into his arms. “You’re just helping them set up their college tours for Senior Skip Week. Most of them will already know what college they want to visit. You just have to make phone calls and book the tours. You’re basically an educational travel agent.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Fitz grumbled glaring at him. “You have a Master’s degree.”
“In Russian and Slavic Studies!” Alex exclaimed with a laugh. “Know many kids in this town that wanna major in that?”
Fitz glared at him. “You know who’s fault this is?”
“Who’s?” Alex shifted his folders again, his hands going numb.
“Hilary.” They both said together and Fitz nodded his head deeply, gesturing as best he could with his folders which nearly went sliding to the floor.
“Yes, this has her stink all over it,” Fitz snarled with narrowed eyes. “Little Miss Happy Helper couldn’t do it because she’s going on some island vacay-”
“She’s going to Ireland, Fitz, not the Caribbean.”
“-And she couldn’t stand the idea of not being able to do it so she volunteered us.”
“We don’t know that,” Alex placated.
“Well yeah, I guess it is extremely likely,” Alex replied and Fitz pursed his lips at him.
“Whatever I’m getting her back for this,” Fitz muttered.
The Physics of Leaving releases January 31st, 2018